So unless you’re not on social media, there’s no way you missed the fact that Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson got engaged just after a month of dating. The memes flooding your instagram timeline are a proof of that. Man, they’re rich, famous and hot together and apart. And they’re living their best life. Which brings us to this question; is love really that simple and easy? Is meeting ‘the right one’ so effortless? I would say, ‘love’ as a word holds a different meaning for everyone. For some love is comfort, while for another it is passion. So maybe Ariana found her definition of love in Pete. It cannot be said the same for G-Eazy and Halsey, who just after dating for over a year called it quits a couple days ago. Love doesn’t necessarily have a ‘proper’ or ‘required’ time. People could go through fifteen and twenty-two girlfriends/boyfriends and yet not find a proper life partner in them whereas some people know from the beginning that they’ve found themselves a significant other. But because society expects us to have a significant other in our life, we practically use up a huge part of our daily life trying to find someone and when we get this ‘someone else’ we spend that time with them trying to make them ‘the one’ instead of enjoying and being okay with them not being ‘the one’.
But society, including us, put a label on such people. Normal people, who are just like us, looking for the one, but just because they are scoping the field, they are labeled as ‘players’ for the guys, and ‘sluts’ for the girls. Not even going to start on the huge amounts of sexism in those words.
We should get one thing bright and clear. It is not your body, it is not your heart and they are definitely not your feelings. So y’all have no right to say anything regarding THEIR life. They want to get married within a month of engagement? It’s their choice. They want to be engaged for ten years and not get married, their choice. They want a live-in relationship? Guess what? It’s again their choice. In all these circumstances I don’t see the word “you” in it. So I don’t see the point of you butting your long nose and voicing out your opinion and trying to sabotage their relationship. Having an opinion is definitely something everyone should have. Difference is, they didn’t ask you for yours.
So the other day, I was casually scrolling through my instagram when I saw this picture of one of my friends from when I was a kid, (we eventually stopped talking when we grew up) and she had a huge ring on her finger and had captioned the picture with a simple ‘hitched’. Why is this worth mentioning? I was with one of my friends when I exclaimed this out loud. She then proceeded to ask me if I would go on to do a arranged marriage or a love marriage. I didn’t even have to think for a moment before I replied with ‘arranged marriage’ without hesitation.
In India, 76% of people are arranged-married through their families. It’s been quite a long tradition in India for the parents to find a suitable groom/bride for their child. And to be honest, the idea of an arrange marriage has been destroyed by the ‘modernists’. In India, a parent wants to see their child settled well and comfortably in life. And they want to be a part of helping their child settle down. Basically, that is all parents want. In a casual relationship, there’s no guarantee of marriage, something almost every person in their late 20’s is looking for, as I mentioned earlier. So parents don’t want to see their child hurting when their partner leaves.
Let’s breakdown how a love marriage comes into being. Nowadays, I mean. You meet someone through two ways; tinder or through a friend. Y’all go out on a few dates and if you both are compatible, y’all start dating. Maybe after an average of 8 months, you both move in together and say in a couple years you both get married. Arranged marriage is like real-life tinder. In India at least, the way of marriage I’ve seen is pretty cool. First the parents ask around if there are any single guys around, get you some pictures or you go to online wedding portals. You essentially choose a couple guys you think look attractive (just like on tinder) and your parents set up a date for y’all. You don’t go out again with the guys you didn’t like and continue seeing the guy you liked. Difference is, your parents are involved a little here, and honestly, I love it. And it means so much to them. I bet they’ll never tell you that, but it’s true. So after maybe 8-9 months of seeing each other, y’all tell your respective families that you both liked each other a lot, and would like to get hitched. So within a month an engagement ceremony occurs and then after a minimum period of a year, y’all get married. So how is arranged marriage the same as marrying a complete stranger? When you go on tinder to meet someone new, they’re a stranger to you as well. To conclude, I think that the institution of arranged marriage is super cute.
Until Next time, Stay Ferpectly Pacable,